Dating is a social ritual that’s undergone a lot of changes. Back in the day, it usually started as a social meeting through mutual friends, progressed through an invitation to a dance or the movies, undergoing parental scrutiny, maybe enhanced by a box of chocolates…but technology, increasing sexual equality, and the occasional pandemic have contributed to shifting potentially romantic encounters into cyberspace. Swipe left/swipe right on various dating apps is becoming increasingly common, which has spurred a Redlands woman, Krystal Anderson, and her friend and workmate Cheryl, into giving locals a more personal option with Redlands Singles Speed Dating.
Krystal is definitely a people person rather than an apps user and feels that many of us are missing out on the benefits of live, personal interactions.
“It’s really hard to convey who you are and what you’re like through an app or a text; making assessments of someone through a description or a photograph can be judgemental and inauthentic,” she says. “Lack of opportunities for getting out and having face-to-face interactions is ruining dating; that’s why we’re starting our speed dating evenings.”
Despite the fact that everyone at a speed dating night is there for the same reason, Krystal says people can feel nervous about it.
“We have a group of people there to walk around the room and chat with anyone who looks a bit unsure or awkward,” she says. “In the eating area, we encourage people to move around from table to table, and we have activities that develop into a sort of trivial pursuit game created by the participants. It always gets people talking and laughing – it’s a stress-free way to find people that you feel you’ll connect with. Even if the evening doesn’t kindle a romance, it’s a wonderful way to make friends and develop those social connections that we all need.”
Speed dating means sitting across the table with one person, making first contact and chatting for six to eight minutes, then moving on to repeat the process with someone else. Depending on numbers, participants could have up to 30 contacts, and if there are mutual likings a couple may decide to re-contact through carefully-structured protocols.
Krystal, who works in the mental health industry, says that the group has stringent protective regulations about appropriate behaviour.
“Bullying, gossiping, abuse, not respecting peoples’ boundaries –
we have strict rules, and if anyone breaks them, they’re out!”
Another benefit of the not-for-profit evening is the warm glow that comes from doing good for someone else; $5 from each ticket sale will go to Lifeline’s Out of the Shadows Suicide Prevention project.
Birkdale Sports Club will open the doors for Speed Dating
on September 7 at 5:30pm, with dinner at 6:00pm and at 7:00pm, the real fun begins. For information contact [email protected].
