BY JAN NARY
Communications have come a long way since we sniffed and circled each other, then either threw rocks or got friendly. Now we can have conversations with people who aren’t even in the same country or on the same planet, without even knowing what they look like, much less what they smell like. The little indicators of facial expressions, body language, and vocal inflection are lost when we’re communicating online. The behaviour-limiting factors of knowing who you’re talking to and being able to identify them no longer come into play with many messaging apps, social media and community forums – and our interpersonal cyber-behaviour can suffer as a result.
Anecdotally, trolls lived under Scandinavian bridges and attacked passers-by, particularly the Billygoats Gruff. Today, trolls also live in cyberspace, lurking in corners of social media, faceless and nameless, attacking whoever they like – and their bullying can have disastrous results. Anonymity offers protection to say things that they probably wouldn’t say in a live, face-to-face confrontation. Fake profiles are easy to set up and an ideal way to attack others and spread false, malicious and divisive arguments.
The best way to manage online trolls and bullies is to give them no oxygen; don’t engage, don’t supply the snipers with another target to aim at. And don’t let them get under your skin; your mental health deserves protection. The pen – or the keyboard – is mightier than the sword. Words have real power (which is why uprisings and takeovers always make an early move on the media).
Apart from the deliberate cyber-space nasties, we can all fall foul of accidental breaches of courtesy. What might have left your head as a witty, ironic, or just frank comment can land on the page as sarcastic, hyper-critical or patronising. This is where we miss out on the little modulators that we’ve developed over millennia of evolution: the smile, the raised eyebrow, the inflection or hand gesture that conveys that we’re being clever or funny and asking them to share the joke. The instinctive body language made the difference between rock-throwing and friendliness. Re-read the post; if it’s sarcastic, hyper-critical or patronising and that isn’t what you intended, rephrase it. If it is what you intended, maybe we’re back to rock-throwing.
Good online etiquette isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being accountable, respectful, and aware of the impact your words have. POSTING IN CAPITAL LETTERS IS THE CYBER-EQUIVALENT OF SHOUTING AT SOMEONE. A bit like driving a car, a lot of nasty bingles can be avoided with good old-fashioned courtesy. Online communication has huge potential for good: keeping in touch, especially for those of us who can’t do it in person; building communities; helping in crises; sharing knowledge and opinions; and effecting change. Debasing it to divide, inflame, and harm is social vandalism. And it will never replace live conversations, the face-to-face contact we’ve evolved to use.
Maybe we could all benefit from turning off the devices and seeking a bit more personal contact. Hearing live voices, talking to each other’s faces. Sniffing optional.
